Lost
by AngelicSnow
Summary: "We're all miserable without you." -Because even Yugi has moments when he is angry. When he feels lonely. Set after Yami leaves.


**Lost**

**Character/Pairing:** Puzzleshipping (Yami x Yugi)

**Universe: **AU/Canon

**Timeline: **Present/After Yami leaves

**Warning:** Possible OOCness

**_Disclaimer: I own neither the show YuGiOh, nor the song "Lost". _**

**_Credit goes to their respective owners_****_._**

* * *

_**Tragic, confusing when you slam the door**_

_**I've never lost someone like you before**_

_**And let you go softly not even a sound**_

_**Hoping that someday you'd come back around**_

* * *

Not a warning.

Not a goodbye.

Nothing to remember you by.

Nothing.

I keep wondering if there was something I could have done to make you stay.

If I'd asked you… if I'd begged for you to stay, would you have?

No.

Even if I had wanted to, really wanted to, I probably wouldn't have been able to stop you.

It's been… two weeks. Or maybe three, I'm not quite so sure anymore. Everyone seems to have lost track of time without you. Everyone seems to be very careful not to mention you when I am around.

But I still hear them whispering, you know?

"_I wonder if Yugi will be okay. He's been...weird since Atem's g-"_

"_Jonouchi, pssht! Yugi is coming!"_

They mean well, but in the end… the way they look at me, with pity in their eyes…

It doesn't really make things better.

But then again, you'd understand, wouldn't you?

You always understood.

Even when no one else saw things my way, even when they silently questioned my decisions, you understood.

You knew me.

I could search the whole world for someone that would get me like you did, and I'd come up with nothing.

But it's not like I would actually do that. You're irreplaceable, you're _mou hitori no boku_.

I miss you.

We all do.

I still wish, pray, _hope against hope_ that you'll come back. That I'll wake up one day and hear your voice in my head, wishing me a good morning.

* * *

_**Cause I miss your sandpaper face against mine**_

_**The way you get impatient waiting in line**_

_**It doesn't matter if we don't agree**_

_**I like you even when you don't like me**_

* * *

I miss you.

I really do. The words seem too simple, too little, too_ everyday _to convey what I feel, but they're the only ones that I have.

We didn't use to need words. It just took one glance and we understood, but now?

Like when I made you go on that date with Anzu. When I made you take over, I could sense your embarrassment. The way you didn't understand why she had to battle that guy, Johnny Steps in DDR and how you waited impatiently for her to finish.

Who can I communicate like that with now?

* * *

_**And I'm lost when you're away**_

_**Lost, fade into gray**_

* * *

We're all miserable without you.

Jonouchi-kun doesn't duel anymore. It's really sad, because he loved that game so much. But I guess it's understandable, you were the person he always wanted to beat, and now that you're… gone, he just doesn't have any motivation left. Honda-kun is always trying to cheer us up, but you can see that even he lost his spirit. His jokes lack their usual brightness.

Shizuka-chan is just plain sad. She starts crying when someone mentions you, I've seen it. But who can blame her? I had to leave the room the one time that it happened.

We rarely see Otogi-kun and even Kaiba doesn't challenge me as much as he used to, anymore.

And Anzu? Anzu's just…

She was in love with you, you know?

I'd like to believe it was me, but you can only fool yourself for so long before you're forced to accept the truth.

That it was always you she was in love with.

She'll get over it, someday, don't worry. But for now… well, it hurts to see her hurt. I wish I could to something to help her, but how could I, when I hurt just as much as they do? We're all walking on eggshells around each other. We can barely talk, because we're always afraid of bringing you up, and we don't really go out anymore, because every place reminds us of you.

I guess we all thought… We all believed that… You know.

I guess we all thought that you would stay.

We thought that we were enough. That you would stay because you had us.

I don't know if blood is really thicker than water, all I know is that I wanted to be with you. You could have stayed with me and grandpa, and then we all would have been together.

We would have been a pretty interesting family, but we would have loved it, I'm sure.

I guess we would have been even closer than brothers, but it's more painful than that.

Oh, but please don't think for one second that you are at fault for this. I'm not saying this, because I'm trying to blame it on you or anything, really.

It just feels good to get it off my chest.

Because, after all this, you're still the first person I want to talk to.

And they all forgive you, you know?

That's because they all know, that in the end, you're the good guy. You're a hero, the Pharao that saved everyone, and that made all our lifes a little brighter.

I know that I sound selfish, I know that it's horrible of me to say this, but… I think I might be hurting the most, because I'm the only one that hasn't forgiven you yet.

Honda-kun forgives you. He says that, as long as you are happy where you are now, then it's okay with him.

Jonouchi-kun forgives you. He's angry and he's sad, but he forgives you. He says that both of us helped him so much, with his life, with Shizuka-chan, with everything, that he can do nothing else but to forgive you. To let you decide what you want to do with your life.

I guess Kaiba forgives you, as far as believing anything that happened goes for him. He still says we were the same person, but I guess that in his heart, he knows that isn't true. I think he's too proud to have had you as a rival, to let your decision seem like a bad one.

Mokuba does, too. You've saved his brother on several occasions, and you've helped the two of them get even closer, and there's nothing more you could have done for him. I think you could have done just about anything that didn't involve his brother, and he would have forgiven you.

Otogi-kun, well… he wasn't really in on the whole Ancient-Egypt thing, but he's noticed that something happened. And he knows that whoever has caused it was a dear friend. So he forgives you.

Anzu forgives you. She does. You've given her courage where no one was able to. Thanks to you she was able to believe in herself. She wants to study dancing, did you know that?

In America.

She's been saving up for the expenses for quite some time, but she says that it was you that really gave her the strength to follow through with her dreams.

* * *

_**Captive to words that I wish I could say**_

_**I never imagined I'd crumble this way**_

_**Somehow I thought this was where I belonged**_

_**Don't leave me wondering if I was wrong**_

* * *

And me, well…

I understand, you know. I knew you had to go. But it still hurts.

There's so much I still want to tell you.

Like "You were the most important person to me" "I loved you" and especially "Thank you for everything."

I know I may have said it sometimes, but compared to everything you've given me, I don't think I could ever thank you enough.

You've given me friends. You've given me courage. You've given me strength.

And I wish that I could make it up to you.

You know, I could apologize for a lot of things, but the thing I regret the most of all is not choosing to tell you just how much you meant to me. I hope that you realized it, even though I never said the words.

* * *

'_**Cause I'm lost when you're away**_

_**Lost, fade into gray**_

_**(Lost in the shadow that you left behind)**_

_**Lost, when you're away**_

_**(Lost in the night, in the absence of light)**_

* * *

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you so much.

I don't think I'll ever stop. Missing you, I mean.

My head just feels… empty without you. Hollow.

I'm weak, mou hitori no boku. I don't want to admit it, but I'm too weak to even forgive you for something that I understand you had to do. Something that I would have done if I were in your shoes.

Is that why you left? Because I was so dependent on you? Is this your way of giving me a final shove to help me move forward?

That_ is_ why you left, isn't it?

Because you don't want me to _need_ you. You want me to be my own person. To not rely on your constant guidance.

That's what you wanted from all of us.

But, Mou hitori no boku, I was never brave enough to do half of what you used to do. Seeing you duel… it showed what it was like doing things that I could never bring myself to do.

I always used to steer clear from things like that because I couldn't see myself doing such daft and silly things, yet you somehow made them seem more lively.

I'm still can't let you go. I'm not ready to live a life without you by my side.

The thought of ultimately forgetting you ... it scares me. So I can't - I can't let you go.

Not yet, anyway.

Probably not ever.


End file.
